In my travels around the world and through my experiences as an expat, one of the ways I got to feel and connect to people, was through sharing their joy and traditions. I discovered new cultures, new ideas and different ways of manifesting the vast array of emotions by celebrating the holidays and traditions of the countries I was in. For that reason, I decided to create a series of articles in which I interview beautiful people, asking them to share their stories about the holidays in the USA.

Celebrated on various dates in the United States, Canada, Grenada, Saint Lucia, and Liberia, Thanksgiving is one of the most beautiful examples of people coming together in gratitude, and putting aside their differences. In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and the native people of Wampanoag tribe shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies.

For this article, I interviewed singer Renee-Louise Carafice, who packed up her home in New Zealand and moved alone to the USA in 2005 – carrying only a guitar and $400 in her pocket.  Seventeen years later, I talked to her about the role that Thanksgiving played in building her new life.

Do you remember your first Thanksgiving? What was it like for you?

I celebrated my first Thanksgiving in the home of my dear Aunt Mary K and Uncle Dick in Jamestown, New York. I lived with them for a year while I went to high school there, and it was a formative year of learning what life was like for an American teenager.

Aunt KK made the most delicious home-made Thanksgiving dinner for just the 3 of us – vegetarian, because I have never eaten meat. All I remember is the flavor combinations of the food… absolutely DELICIOUS. I loved the food.

And Aunt KK talked to me about the meaning of the holiday for her, which was being thankful for everything in our lives. Before dinner, we each said something we were grateful for. I can’t remember what I said – quite likely something dumb and teenager-ish. If I could go back it would of course be my gratitude to spend this precious time with her.

What does it represent for you? What is your favorite part?

Thanksgiving has gone on to represent for me the joy of coming together with my loved ones and enjoying a good meal together. Even in the early years of me moving to Chicago alone as a young adult, I never spent a Thanksgiving day alone. People would always invite me into their homes to join their gathering, sometimes with their family, or sometimes for what we call Friendsgiving.

Friendsgiving brought together all the people who couldn’t be with their families and made a celebration of sharing a delicious meal in each other’s company. I know that these celebrations were as important to other people in my friend group as they were to me.

Experiencing a “family” holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas is really hard when you aren’t with family. The ads, the music, it all kinds of jabs at you – “this doesn’t apply to you”. But Friendsgiving was a way to turn that around for the orphans, immigrants, and outcasts so we could all come together.

Thanksgiving is (also) about family reunion – about values passed from generation to generation. What is the most significant lesson your grandparents taught you, that you still carry with you wherever you go?

When I was a child in New Zealand, my Granddad would go up to foreign people and say hello to them in their native language. It was so embarrassing as a kid, because, well, you’re just embarrassed of everything as a kid. But looking back, the way their faces would light up when he spoke to them in their own language, it was like they didn’t feel alone in the world anymore.

There’s a story about my Granddad being invited to visit a poor refugee family for dinner, who were too poor to afford to buy meat. At some point during the dinner, he realized that they were eating canned dog food. He finished his whole plate, and thanked them graciously for it. That’s what I carry with me wherever I go: I meet people where they are, and have ultimate respect for what their reality is like. I’m a people-person just like my Granddad, and that comes down to being grateful for whatever people have to offer you, and offering as much as you have in return.

What do you remember most about your childhood home?

I was born at home in the middle of the forest in West Auckland, New Zealand. My memories are of Christmas there with my mum and dad and sister, as a 2 year old child. We were a poor family, but my mum and dad always made things so nice for us. Mum made us little fairy headbands from the Christmas-tree tinsel and we felt like we really were fairy princesses. We got cherries in our stockings. It wasn’t the presents that were important – I don’t remember any of my presents, I just remember being with my family.

You came in US when you were 25 and built a new family comprised of dear friends. What values did they imbue you with?

Brotherhood. (90% of my friends are boys, I’m a tomboy.) My friends taught me the importance of treating your loved ones like family, even if you aren’t blood related. You give your brother the shoes off your feet if they don’t have any, you sit with them in their darkest times and don’t disappear when times get hard.

Some people really don’t get that. When I love someone, I give them everything I am able to give. Some people take it and run, but the true friends are the ones who understand. It’s not about expecting anything in return – you give because you love them.

It is said that gratitude builds the brain for emotional intelligence. Why do you think being grateful is important?

Being grateful for what you have makes you a king even when you’re a pauper. I’ve always felt like a king (or a fairy princess). Because people around me build me up with all their love. And I do the same back to them.

If you walk around oblivious to all of the incredible abundance around you, you’re missing everything there is about being alive.

How would you encourage people to celebrate gratitude in their day to day life?

Well, it takes stepping away from the noise for a while and just thinking about how God d*mn lucky you are to have everything you have right now.

There was a time when I was sleeping in my car, with my 2 dogs. And every night as I went to sleep I would say, out loud, “THANK YOU for my beautiful dogs. They keep me safe and warm, and my heart full of love.”

When you really stop and look, you’ll see how lucky you are. I don’t like the concept of “it could always be worse” thinking, I prefer looking for how incredibly lucky I am right now, in this moment.

What will you be most thankful for this Thanksgiving?

A week before Thanksgiving this year I received a very upsetting health diagnosis, which throws into question my view of myself as this invincible force. I’m just here for a time, and with that realization I can so clearly see through all the bullsh*t and see what’s actually important.

What’s actually important is the people in my life, past and present: my Granddad who taught me how to behave with dignity; my Mum and Dad and sister who taught me to celebrate with what little we had; my little brother who came into my life later and showed me how proud I could be of another human being. And my enormous family of lifelong friends (my brothers) who crowd around me in a protective circle of love.